The Ditz in Me

I am not too smart. Maybe relatively bright in the "learns from books" way. But common sense? Not my thing.

Take, for example, the Allstate tagline as shown in this fairly serious commercial:



Anyone else under the impression he's talking to some guy named Stan? As in, "That's Allstate, Stan."

No? My husband looked at me like I was crazy (I guess understandably?) when I asked him ... mind you, after months of confusion about the point of this tagline ... if he knew who this Stan guy was. When he explained that the tagline is actually, "That's Allstate's Stand," it instantly made sense. So, of course, I provided a reply he hears pretty regularly: OOOOooooohhhhh. I get it.

In fact, I hate to admit it, but the whole Jessica Simpson Chicken of the Sea thing a few years ago didn't seem that far fetched to me. And although she plays the dumb blonde factor to an annoying degree, I could see myself pausing to consider the issue.

But maybe (at this is just me trying to make myself feel better), maybe my idiocy is mainly a hearing/name thing? Case in point: I'm southern. My very southern grandparents had specific ways of saying things. Until I was 25 ... okay, I'm exaggerating, I was probably 21 (a mere child, right?) ... I thought a certain piece of furniture that resides in most people's bedrooms had a name. A proper name.

That is, until I directed my mom to get something out of the "Chester Drawers."

"Out of the what?" she asked.

"The Chester drawers."

"The Chester drawers?" she confirmed, beginning to shake with impending laughter.

"Yeahhhh?" (Voice lilting up in unsure, hesitant confusion about her obvious attempts to stifle laughter.)

"Don't you mean the chest of drawers?"

Okay, so it's not a commonly used term. Most people just say dresser. But Chester? Seriously, I'm an idiot.

Of course, I'm older now. But I'm not so sure age matters when it comes to this kind of smarts. Sometimes it does help me keep my mouth shut. But not really. I'd have to know I'm being an idiot before I say something stupid.

So instead, I'll just embrace the ditz in me. After all, I'm always good for a laugh. And that works for me.

That's my stand, Stan.